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Feb. 20th, 2011 07:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theroadhouseTitle: Happy Birthday...I Quit!
Characters: Faith/Eliot, Nate, Sophie, Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles
Rating: Probably PG
Word Count: 2824
Summary: Everybody in the world-wide Slayer organization is getting ready to celebrate Buffy's 30th birthday, and honor her as the oldest living Slayer in history. Except...the Slayer who actually holds that honor doesn't appreciate being overlooked.
Author's Notes: This is a follow up to some stories I posted about a month ago for![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
winter_of_faith. The premise is that the closer Faith gets to her family in Boston, the less her heart is really in her work as a Slayer.
Link to Master List of Stories
Wishes Coming True and Endings and Beginnings are the direct lead ins to this story.
=============================================
There was a tiny part of Faith's soul that understood she was being stupid about the whole mess. It was just a day, just a number. It shouldn't hurt this much.
And yet the video invite from Scotland hadn't even finished playing before she had stalked to her room, grabbed her emergency bag, her favorite weapons and her helmet. “Faith, wait...” Giles said as she came back down the hall. His expression said more clearly than words that he knew exactly what had upset her, and was dreading having to talk her down.
In his favor, Faith had no intention of letting him try. She didn't break stride, waiting until she had passed him before spinning on her heel and flipping him a salute. “Been nice workin' with ya, Giles. I'm out.”
“Faith, I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it...”
She laughed – a short, sharp, bitter bark of sound. “Oh I know they didn't. That's kind of the point, isn't it?” Faith gestured angrily at the laptop. “Straw, G. That was the straw, and my back is officially broken.”
She turned her back on him and walked out the door.
“I quit.”
**************
“You probably shouldn’t have hung up on him,” Sophie observed.
“Pompous, sanctimonious ass,” Nate growled. He passed Sophie a mug of tea, then picked up his own black coffee. “Treats me like garbage, but you see who he goes to first when he can’t handle his Slayer?”
“You still shouldn’t have hung up on him.” She looked thoughtful for a second. “Do you think she really quit, Nate?”
Memory of a trip to Cleveland some weeks earlier…his daughter wounded, frustrated, and tired enough to confess to him that she was thinking seriously of walking away from her Calling. “Yes, yes I do.” He took a drink from his mug and glanced at the door. Giles said she left about three hours ago. Figuring she’s mad enough to drive straight through… “She’s not going to be here before morning,” he said.
“Assuming she comes here first,” Sophie said – a pointed reference to Eliot.
Nate shook his head. “She’ll come here. Giles said she was upset, and unless I’m the one she’s upset with, she always comes here first.”
***************
“Mr. Spencer!”
Eliot slowed to a jog. He'd spotted the woman a couple hundred yards earlier and thought seriously about reversing course – short-circuiting her ability to intercept him on his late morning run. The flaw in his plan that kept him moving forward was that she was the second of only two people in the entire world that could have successfully chased him down.
And he wasn't in the mood to deal with being tackled and subdued by a woman who looked like every high school cheerleader he'd ever dated.
“Ms. Summers,” he greeted her. “I really hate to ask, because I know the answer’s going to piss me off, but...”
“What am I doing in Boston?” she asked. Off his tense nod she said, “I need to talk to you about Faith.”
Eliot couldn't help rolling his eyes. “This isn't high school, Buffy. You want to talk about Faith, you talk to her.”
The blond sighed. “Believe it or not, Mr. Spencer, I'm not trying to cause drama. I went by the apartment already – your boss slammed the door in my face.”
Awesome. Eliot wasn't surprised to hear Nate had reacted emotionally to Buffy Summer's presence on his doorstep. He had a history with Faith's associates in the Slayer world – none of it good. They like him about as well as he likes them.
He began shifting from one side to the other, trying to do what he could to keep his leg muscles from seizing up. “If Nate's already told you to hit the road, what do you expect me to do?”
“Convince Faith to see me. Ten minutes, twenty...I don't care.” The blond smiled what Eliot assumed she thought was a persuasive grin. “Come on. I promise I won’t throw the first punch.”
Sucks when that constitutes a reasonable promise, Eliot thought.
****************
He had breakfast waiting. Faith’s chest tightened at the sight of him sliding an omelet onto a plate. “Bacon?” she asked, closing the door and setting her gear to one side.
He nodded, indicating that she should sit. “Coffee’s almost ready.”
“So,” she said carefully, sliding up on a stool, “Giles call you?” She was sure he had – as sure as she could be about anything. The man was sharp, and it wasn’t like Faith was trying to hide where her heart and her loyalties lived these days.
Nate glanced pointedly at the food he’d set in front of her. Faith dutifully picked up her fork and speared a bite. “Yes,” he said, once the food had successfully made it into her mouth. “He called, and I hung up on him.”
Faith choked, recovered and glared at her father reproachfully. “You did not!”
“I absolutely did!” Nate countered, picking up the pot and pouring coffee for both of them. “Pompous, self-righteous tight-ass.”
Faith couldn’t help the horrified giggle that slipped out. “Wow, Nate. Don’t hold back.” She took a sip of coffee, then added cream and sugar until it was a satisfying mix of caffeine and sugar. “So you don’t know what happened?” she asked, sobering again.
His expression gave her very little to go on – one of the disadvantages of having a con artist for a father. “I know you quit.”
When he didn’t say anything else, Faith prompted, “But you don’t know why?”
“Figure you’ll tell me if you think I need to know.” Nate pulled the bacon out of the oven, and the next several moments were spent comfortably arguing over who got which pieces and how many was a fair distribution of the wealth.
It grounded her, and by the time they were finished eating, Faith was calm enough to start second guessing what she’d done. Before she could start talking, however, the door opened. Father and daughter turned to see Eliot coming into the apartment.
He’s not surprised to see me, was Faith’s first thought – even before Eliot confirmed it.
“Heard you were in town,” he said, his expression disturbingly neutral.
Something’s wrong, Faith thought. “Yeah,” she said. “Just got in about a half hour ago.” He can’t be upset I didn’t call. That wasn’t the way their relationship worked.
Then Eliot pushed the door open wider, and everything fell into place.
“Hello, Faith.”
*******************************
Nate was the first to break the tense, protracted silence. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I already told you to get out.”
Faith looked at her father in shock. “You what?”
Okay, Eliot thought, analyzing the situation in front of him, Nate’s playing over-protective dad again. It wasn’t surprising, but it did give him some hope the situation could be resolved quickly and quietly.
“Slammed the door in my face, too,” Buffy said.
“Dad!”
Nate was resolute. “I wasn’t going to let her ambush you. You want to talk to her fine – that’s your decision. It’s on your terms though, or not at all.”
“You overstepped, Nate,” Eliot said calmly. “They need to handle this internally.”
Buffy looked at Faith. “Can we talk somewhere private?”
Faith was quiet for a long moment; Eliot could see her working the situation over in her mind. Finally she shook her head. “Here’s fine. I’ve got no secrets.”
“You’ve also got the advantage,” Eliot felt obligated to point out. “Maybe you guys should go down to the bar.”
“She doesn’t have to leave if she doesn’t want to,” Nate said.
Eliot ignored him, keeping his attention on Faith. “Did you really quit being a Slayer over a birthday party?” He didn’t bother hiding how disappointed he was in what Buffy had told him – especially since now that he was face-to-face with Faith, he suspected it was the absolute truth.
Faith’s dark eyes were suddenly murderous as she glared at him. “Fuck you, Spencer. You don’t know the first thing about it.” She slid off the stool. “Fine. Keys still in the usual place?” she asked Nate.
He nodded. Faith strode towards the door. “Come on, ‘B’. Let’s get this over with.”
When the two men were alone, Nate raised an eyebrow. “Birthday party?”
Sighing, Eliot joined Nate at the counter. “Ms. Summers turns thirty next week.” Even though he was ostensibly on Buffy’s side in the matter at hand, Eliot could never warm up to the tiny blond enough to comfortably call her by her given name. “A global video invite was sent yesterday to everyone in the organization announcing the party.”
Nate looked thoughtful. “Seems a little over the top, even for Faith.”
He knows more than he’s saying. Great. Which wasn’t surprising where Nate was concerned – especially if the subject was his daughter. “The invite referred to Blondie as ‘the Oldest Living Slayer’.”
“Ah.”
Eliot suspected Nate was remembering his own version of Faith’s birthday a month earlier. She had been uncharacteristically introspective when she’d been with him, talking about how much it meant to her that she was the first Slayer in history to live past her thirtieth birthday. “She said it was the one positive thing she’d managed as a Slayer that Buffy hadn’t done first.”
Nate took a drink from his mug, considering what Eliot was saying. “You know it was an excuse,” he said. “She’s been thinking of quitting for a while now.”
It didn’t surprise Eliot. He and Faith hadn’t ever spoken in detail about her slaying, but it didn’t take a genius to see that she was burning out. Add in the novelty of a shiny new family… “She told you?”
“At Christmas,” Nate confirmed. “She didn’t say it was settled, but Faith being Faith…”
Eliot sighed. “Yeah.”
*****************************
Faith didn’t like being in the bar when it was this empty. “Family time” was okay – there was more than enough personality to make up for the lack of bodies. Without the wall-to-wall patrons and the televisions showing whatever game happened to be on at the time, however, it always felt like she was intruding on a sleeping giant.
Nothing to be done about it. She’d been pissed at Eliot for bringing it up, but Faith could recognize that he’d been right to suggest having this talk with Buffy while Nate and Eliot were in the room would give her an unfair advantage.
“You want to tell me what’s wrong?” Buffy asked, finally breaking the silence.
Faith shrugged, turning to face her fellow Slayer. “What, G-man didn’t tell you? I quit, B. Done, finished, hanging up my stake and turning my squad of wannabes over to somebody else.”
Ah, the Mom-stare, she thought as Buffy scowled. Didn’t miss that.
“Giles told me you lost your shit after you got the party invitation. You’re telling me after all this time you’d throw everything away because of a little mistake like that?”
Faith smiled, but she could taste the bitterness. “First of all, B – not throwing everything away. Just walking away from the job.” She paused, sobering – painfully aware of how petty the next part was going to sound. “And it might be a little mistake to you,” she said, “but it was the one good thing I got to do as a Slayer that nobody could take away from me. It was the one thing you would never be as long as I was alive.”
To her amazement, Buffy seemed like she actually understood where Faith was coming from. “For what it’s worth, Andrew unleashed some major geek rage on the girls responsible,” she said. “They didn’t know, Faith. They didn’t think.”
Even though the idea that Andrew had stood up for her was somewhat heartwarming - and Giles obviously convinced Buffy to hop a jet to work this out, Faith was forced to concede – it didn’t change the heart of the matter. “None of them do, B. I don’t blame them specifically, but you and I both know I’m always going to be the after-thought.” She scowled. “The mistake. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t matter – and I never will.”
“You’re just feeling sorry for yourself,” Buffy countered. “You matter, Faith – you reach these girls on a level I’ll never be able to.”
It was a good point, probably the best Buffy had in her arsenal, but Faith knew with a sick certainty that it wasn’t enough anymore. “You remember what it was like when your Mom was alive?” she asked, thinking of Nate. “How even when you were so turned around you didn’t know which way was up, you could trust that she loved you and would die to protect you?”
“I have that now,” she hurried on, before Buffy could say anything. “I matter to Nate, like I’ve never mattered to anyone in my entire life. And Eliot...!” She felt the burn of tears and struggled to hold them back. “B, you should see the blade that boy gave me for my birthday. And he did it because I matter to him…the idea that I come home safe every night matters.”
“Faith, I’m glad for you,” Buffy said. “I really am – I swear. I just don’t see where it has to be one or the other.”
Faith sighed. Here, at last, was the heart of it. “I’m tired, B. I’m burnt. And every day the job keeps me away from them, I get angrier and then the anger makes me sloppy.” She chuckled bitterly. “Has Giles told you how many times I’ve been wounded on routine stuff in the last six months?” She laid a hand on her side, where a monster had stuck a knife in her a few weeks earlier.
From the look on Buffy’s face, Faith knew Giles hadn’t said a word. She was almost relieved – the idea that Buffy would have known what was happening and just flat not given a damn would have been so much worse.
“You and I both know what happens when we get sloppy, B. I can’t do that to them.”
“I won’t.”
***********************
Half an hour after the two women had gone downstairs, Eliot finally convinced Nate to let him check on things. “I’m not letting you put yourself between them,” he said emphatically. “You get stupid about this kind of thing.”
Nate hadn’t been happy about Eliot’s assessment, but he’d acquiesced.
The fact that Faith was alone when he entered the bar told him nothing about how the conversation had gone. She was sitting on the bar, her feet swinging back and forth, staring out into space.
“Knock, knock,” he said, moving to just outside her reach.
She glanced at him and grimaced. “I’m not going to hit you.”
“You sure?” he asked. “That’s the first time I think you’ve dropped an f-bomb on me and meant it.”
She sighed. Eliot was struck by how sad she looked and wondered what the outcome of the conversation between her and Buffy had been.
“I took it back,” she said, deliberately not looking at him. “You were right – I overreacted, I was stupid…and anything else you want to throw in there.”
The bitterness in her voice made him wince. He was never entirely on solid ground where Faith was concerned, but moments like this always seemed to make it so much worse. So much damage, he thought again as he quietly closed the distance between them.
“You’re not stupid,” he said, twining his arm around hers. Without saying anything, Faith leaned into him. “I do get where you’re coming from with this, remember?”
“But..?” Faith asked pointedly, finally turning to look at him.
“But,” Eliot repeated, meeting her gaze squarely, “you’re better than that. Nate told me what you guys talked about. If your reasons are clear, then walk away with a clean conscience. Don’t run away because your feelings are hurt and you’re looking for an excuse.”
Her dark eyes narrowed slightly. “Sounds like a little bit of experience talking.”
“Faith,” Eliot said, smiling, “haven’t you figured it out? When I get all Confucius on you, it’s usually a lot of experience talking.” Threading his fingers into the tangle of her hair, he pulled her in for a kiss before she could say anything else.
“So,” he asked when they finally came up for air, “if you’re still on the job, do you have to go back right away?” He’d turned so he was facing her; Faith’s legs were wrapped loosely around his waist.
She shook her head. “Buffy called Giles. I’m staying at least until after the birthday party next week.”
“Good,” Eliot said. A moment later he cut her a wicked grin. “Did you lock up after Blondie? Or do we need to take this in back? Because if I don’t welcome you home soon, bad things are gonna happen.”
Faith laughed, tightening her legs around him and pulling him into her. “I’m counting on it.”
Characters: Faith/Eliot, Nate, Sophie, Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles
Rating: Probably PG
Word Count: 2824
Summary: Everybody in the world-wide Slayer organization is getting ready to celebrate Buffy's 30th birthday, and honor her as the oldest living Slayer in history. Except...the Slayer who actually holds that honor doesn't appreciate being overlooked.
Author's Notes: This is a follow up to some stories I posted about a month ago for
winter_of_faith. The premise is that the closer Faith gets to her family in Boston, the less her heart is really in her work as a Slayer.Link to Master List of Stories
Wishes Coming True and Endings and Beginnings are the direct lead ins to this story.
=============================================
There was a tiny part of Faith's soul that understood she was being stupid about the whole mess. It was just a day, just a number. It shouldn't hurt this much.
And yet the video invite from Scotland hadn't even finished playing before she had stalked to her room, grabbed her emergency bag, her favorite weapons and her helmet. “Faith, wait...” Giles said as she came back down the hall. His expression said more clearly than words that he knew exactly what had upset her, and was dreading having to talk her down.
In his favor, Faith had no intention of letting him try. She didn't break stride, waiting until she had passed him before spinning on her heel and flipping him a salute. “Been nice workin' with ya, Giles. I'm out.”
“Faith, I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it...”
She laughed – a short, sharp, bitter bark of sound. “Oh I know they didn't. That's kind of the point, isn't it?” Faith gestured angrily at the laptop. “Straw, G. That was the straw, and my back is officially broken.”
She turned her back on him and walked out the door.
“I quit.”
**************
“You probably shouldn’t have hung up on him,” Sophie observed.
“Pompous, sanctimonious ass,” Nate growled. He passed Sophie a mug of tea, then picked up his own black coffee. “Treats me like garbage, but you see who he goes to first when he can’t handle his Slayer?”
“You still shouldn’t have hung up on him.” She looked thoughtful for a second. “Do you think she really quit, Nate?”
Memory of a trip to Cleveland some weeks earlier…his daughter wounded, frustrated, and tired enough to confess to him that she was thinking seriously of walking away from her Calling. “Yes, yes I do.” He took a drink from his mug and glanced at the door. Giles said she left about three hours ago. Figuring she’s mad enough to drive straight through… “She’s not going to be here before morning,” he said.
“Assuming she comes here first,” Sophie said – a pointed reference to Eliot.
Nate shook his head. “She’ll come here. Giles said she was upset, and unless I’m the one she’s upset with, she always comes here first.”
***************
“Mr. Spencer!”
Eliot slowed to a jog. He'd spotted the woman a couple hundred yards earlier and thought seriously about reversing course – short-circuiting her ability to intercept him on his late morning run. The flaw in his plan that kept him moving forward was that she was the second of only two people in the entire world that could have successfully chased him down.
And he wasn't in the mood to deal with being tackled and subdued by a woman who looked like every high school cheerleader he'd ever dated.
“Ms. Summers,” he greeted her. “I really hate to ask, because I know the answer’s going to piss me off, but...”
“What am I doing in Boston?” she asked. Off his tense nod she said, “I need to talk to you about Faith.”
Eliot couldn't help rolling his eyes. “This isn't high school, Buffy. You want to talk about Faith, you talk to her.”
The blond sighed. “Believe it or not, Mr. Spencer, I'm not trying to cause drama. I went by the apartment already – your boss slammed the door in my face.”
Awesome. Eliot wasn't surprised to hear Nate had reacted emotionally to Buffy Summer's presence on his doorstep. He had a history with Faith's associates in the Slayer world – none of it good. They like him about as well as he likes them.
He began shifting from one side to the other, trying to do what he could to keep his leg muscles from seizing up. “If Nate's already told you to hit the road, what do you expect me to do?”
“Convince Faith to see me. Ten minutes, twenty...I don't care.” The blond smiled what Eliot assumed she thought was a persuasive grin. “Come on. I promise I won’t throw the first punch.”
Sucks when that constitutes a reasonable promise, Eliot thought.
****************
He had breakfast waiting. Faith’s chest tightened at the sight of him sliding an omelet onto a plate. “Bacon?” she asked, closing the door and setting her gear to one side.
He nodded, indicating that she should sit. “Coffee’s almost ready.”
“So,” she said carefully, sliding up on a stool, “Giles call you?” She was sure he had – as sure as she could be about anything. The man was sharp, and it wasn’t like Faith was trying to hide where her heart and her loyalties lived these days.
Nate glanced pointedly at the food he’d set in front of her. Faith dutifully picked up her fork and speared a bite. “Yes,” he said, once the food had successfully made it into her mouth. “He called, and I hung up on him.”
Faith choked, recovered and glared at her father reproachfully. “You did not!”
“I absolutely did!” Nate countered, picking up the pot and pouring coffee for both of them. “Pompous, self-righteous tight-ass.”
Faith couldn’t help the horrified giggle that slipped out. “Wow, Nate. Don’t hold back.” She took a sip of coffee, then added cream and sugar until it was a satisfying mix of caffeine and sugar. “So you don’t know what happened?” she asked, sobering again.
His expression gave her very little to go on – one of the disadvantages of having a con artist for a father. “I know you quit.”
When he didn’t say anything else, Faith prompted, “But you don’t know why?”
“Figure you’ll tell me if you think I need to know.” Nate pulled the bacon out of the oven, and the next several moments were spent comfortably arguing over who got which pieces and how many was a fair distribution of the wealth.
It grounded her, and by the time they were finished eating, Faith was calm enough to start second guessing what she’d done. Before she could start talking, however, the door opened. Father and daughter turned to see Eliot coming into the apartment.
He’s not surprised to see me, was Faith’s first thought – even before Eliot confirmed it.
“Heard you were in town,” he said, his expression disturbingly neutral.
Something’s wrong, Faith thought. “Yeah,” she said. “Just got in about a half hour ago.” He can’t be upset I didn’t call. That wasn’t the way their relationship worked.
Then Eliot pushed the door open wider, and everything fell into place.
“Hello, Faith.”
*******************************
Nate was the first to break the tense, protracted silence. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I already told you to get out.”
Faith looked at her father in shock. “You what?”
Okay, Eliot thought, analyzing the situation in front of him, Nate’s playing over-protective dad again. It wasn’t surprising, but it did give him some hope the situation could be resolved quickly and quietly.
“Slammed the door in my face, too,” Buffy said.
“Dad!”
Nate was resolute. “I wasn’t going to let her ambush you. You want to talk to her fine – that’s your decision. It’s on your terms though, or not at all.”
“You overstepped, Nate,” Eliot said calmly. “They need to handle this internally.”
Buffy looked at Faith. “Can we talk somewhere private?”
Faith was quiet for a long moment; Eliot could see her working the situation over in her mind. Finally she shook her head. “Here’s fine. I’ve got no secrets.”
“You’ve also got the advantage,” Eliot felt obligated to point out. “Maybe you guys should go down to the bar.”
“She doesn’t have to leave if she doesn’t want to,” Nate said.
Eliot ignored him, keeping his attention on Faith. “Did you really quit being a Slayer over a birthday party?” He didn’t bother hiding how disappointed he was in what Buffy had told him – especially since now that he was face-to-face with Faith, he suspected it was the absolute truth.
Faith’s dark eyes were suddenly murderous as she glared at him. “Fuck you, Spencer. You don’t know the first thing about it.” She slid off the stool. “Fine. Keys still in the usual place?” she asked Nate.
He nodded. Faith strode towards the door. “Come on, ‘B’. Let’s get this over with.”
When the two men were alone, Nate raised an eyebrow. “Birthday party?”
Sighing, Eliot joined Nate at the counter. “Ms. Summers turns thirty next week.” Even though he was ostensibly on Buffy’s side in the matter at hand, Eliot could never warm up to the tiny blond enough to comfortably call her by her given name. “A global video invite was sent yesterday to everyone in the organization announcing the party.”
Nate looked thoughtful. “Seems a little over the top, even for Faith.”
He knows more than he’s saying. Great. Which wasn’t surprising where Nate was concerned – especially if the subject was his daughter. “The invite referred to Blondie as ‘the Oldest Living Slayer’.”
“Ah.”
Eliot suspected Nate was remembering his own version of Faith’s birthday a month earlier. She had been uncharacteristically introspective when she’d been with him, talking about how much it meant to her that she was the first Slayer in history to live past her thirtieth birthday. “She said it was the one positive thing she’d managed as a Slayer that Buffy hadn’t done first.”
Nate took a drink from his mug, considering what Eliot was saying. “You know it was an excuse,” he said. “She’s been thinking of quitting for a while now.”
It didn’t surprise Eliot. He and Faith hadn’t ever spoken in detail about her slaying, but it didn’t take a genius to see that she was burning out. Add in the novelty of a shiny new family… “She told you?”
“At Christmas,” Nate confirmed. “She didn’t say it was settled, but Faith being Faith…”
Eliot sighed. “Yeah.”
*****************************
Faith didn’t like being in the bar when it was this empty. “Family time” was okay – there was more than enough personality to make up for the lack of bodies. Without the wall-to-wall patrons and the televisions showing whatever game happened to be on at the time, however, it always felt like she was intruding on a sleeping giant.
Nothing to be done about it. She’d been pissed at Eliot for bringing it up, but Faith could recognize that he’d been right to suggest having this talk with Buffy while Nate and Eliot were in the room would give her an unfair advantage.
“You want to tell me what’s wrong?” Buffy asked, finally breaking the silence.
Faith shrugged, turning to face her fellow Slayer. “What, G-man didn’t tell you? I quit, B. Done, finished, hanging up my stake and turning my squad of wannabes over to somebody else.”
Ah, the Mom-stare, she thought as Buffy scowled. Didn’t miss that.
“Giles told me you lost your shit after you got the party invitation. You’re telling me after all this time you’d throw everything away because of a little mistake like that?”
Faith smiled, but she could taste the bitterness. “First of all, B – not throwing everything away. Just walking away from the job.” She paused, sobering – painfully aware of how petty the next part was going to sound. “And it might be a little mistake to you,” she said, “but it was the one good thing I got to do as a Slayer that nobody could take away from me. It was the one thing you would never be as long as I was alive.”
To her amazement, Buffy seemed like she actually understood where Faith was coming from. “For what it’s worth, Andrew unleashed some major geek rage on the girls responsible,” she said. “They didn’t know, Faith. They didn’t think.”
Even though the idea that Andrew had stood up for her was somewhat heartwarming - and Giles obviously convinced Buffy to hop a jet to work this out, Faith was forced to concede – it didn’t change the heart of the matter. “None of them do, B. I don’t blame them specifically, but you and I both know I’m always going to be the after-thought.” She scowled. “The mistake. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t matter – and I never will.”
“You’re just feeling sorry for yourself,” Buffy countered. “You matter, Faith – you reach these girls on a level I’ll never be able to.”
It was a good point, probably the best Buffy had in her arsenal, but Faith knew with a sick certainty that it wasn’t enough anymore. “You remember what it was like when your Mom was alive?” she asked, thinking of Nate. “How even when you were so turned around you didn’t know which way was up, you could trust that she loved you and would die to protect you?”
“I have that now,” she hurried on, before Buffy could say anything. “I matter to Nate, like I’ve never mattered to anyone in my entire life. And Eliot...!” She felt the burn of tears and struggled to hold them back. “B, you should see the blade that boy gave me for my birthday. And he did it because I matter to him…the idea that I come home safe every night matters.”
“Faith, I’m glad for you,” Buffy said. “I really am – I swear. I just don’t see where it has to be one or the other.”
Faith sighed. Here, at last, was the heart of it. “I’m tired, B. I’m burnt. And every day the job keeps me away from them, I get angrier and then the anger makes me sloppy.” She chuckled bitterly. “Has Giles told you how many times I’ve been wounded on routine stuff in the last six months?” She laid a hand on her side, where a monster had stuck a knife in her a few weeks earlier.
From the look on Buffy’s face, Faith knew Giles hadn’t said a word. She was almost relieved – the idea that Buffy would have known what was happening and just flat not given a damn would have been so much worse.
“You and I both know what happens when we get sloppy, B. I can’t do that to them.”
“I won’t.”
***********************
Half an hour after the two women had gone downstairs, Eliot finally convinced Nate to let him check on things. “I’m not letting you put yourself between them,” he said emphatically. “You get stupid about this kind of thing.”
Nate hadn’t been happy about Eliot’s assessment, but he’d acquiesced.
The fact that Faith was alone when he entered the bar told him nothing about how the conversation had gone. She was sitting on the bar, her feet swinging back and forth, staring out into space.
“Knock, knock,” he said, moving to just outside her reach.
She glanced at him and grimaced. “I’m not going to hit you.”
“You sure?” he asked. “That’s the first time I think you’ve dropped an f-bomb on me and meant it.”
She sighed. Eliot was struck by how sad she looked and wondered what the outcome of the conversation between her and Buffy had been.
“I took it back,” she said, deliberately not looking at him. “You were right – I overreacted, I was stupid…and anything else you want to throw in there.”
The bitterness in her voice made him wince. He was never entirely on solid ground where Faith was concerned, but moments like this always seemed to make it so much worse. So much damage, he thought again as he quietly closed the distance between them.
“You’re not stupid,” he said, twining his arm around hers. Without saying anything, Faith leaned into him. “I do get where you’re coming from with this, remember?”
“But..?” Faith asked pointedly, finally turning to look at him.
“But,” Eliot repeated, meeting her gaze squarely, “you’re better than that. Nate told me what you guys talked about. If your reasons are clear, then walk away with a clean conscience. Don’t run away because your feelings are hurt and you’re looking for an excuse.”
Her dark eyes narrowed slightly. “Sounds like a little bit of experience talking.”
“Faith,” Eliot said, smiling, “haven’t you figured it out? When I get all Confucius on you, it’s usually a lot of experience talking.” Threading his fingers into the tangle of her hair, he pulled her in for a kiss before she could say anything else.
“So,” he asked when they finally came up for air, “if you’re still on the job, do you have to go back right away?” He’d turned so he was facing her; Faith’s legs were wrapped loosely around his waist.
She shook her head. “Buffy called Giles. I’m staying at least until after the birthday party next week.”
“Good,” Eliot said. A moment later he cut her a wicked grin. “Did you lock up after Blondie? Or do we need to take this in back? Because if I don’t welcome you home soon, bad things are gonna happen.”
Faith laughed, tightening her legs around him and pulling him into her. “I’m counting on it.”
no subject
Date: 2012-08-09 07:36 pm (UTC)